Awake » Book Review

Preston's Awake was a god-awful nightmare to read. It was BAD. But I forced myself to keep going because this was a long-overdue Netgalley book. However, I DO have some good news to impart. At the completion of this review, I will only have one more backlog Netgalley to read and review and I will be all caught up!

Tropes, Tropes, Troppity-Tropes

I'm writing this at 5 in the morning. Have I slept? Umm, no not really. My holiday weekend has turned into a binge read all night, sleep all day thing. This might be my loopiest review yet.

So, where was I?

Ah! Tropes.

First and foremost, we have instalove. I HATE IT. I HATE IT SO MUCH. If I cared enough, I would flip open the book to the first chapter and be able to type out countless quotes for you guys to nauseate over. But I'm sleepy. And I never want to look, touch, or hold this book ever again. So every single one of you will just have to take my word for it.

The book is told in alternating perspectives by Scarlett and Noah. Scarlett is a normal 16 yr-old girl with the exception of one little thing. She can't remember anything before the age of 4.

Big fuckin' whoop. Do any of you guys remember being 4? Hell I can barely remember grade school. If it weren't for pictures and videos and childhood friends, I would swear to you that I showed up fully formed in my parents' house with a suitcase full of books.

Noah is some random guy that shows up at school and starts making googly-eyes at Scarlett. They date, and in two seconds flat, they're in love. I was just SO BORED. Remember a few posts ago (here), when I mentioned how I hated reading the POV of a teen male character because of their intense fascination with boobies and other gross boy things? I never thought there would come a day when I would say that Noah's perspective needed more of that. He didn't read like a teen boy at all. Hell, he didn't even read like a separate character. It might as well have been Scarlett dating herself.

More Stupid Shit

What pissed me off the most, is Scarlett's and Imogen's interactions. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS. But you would be forgiven for not thinking that since they only talk twice throughout the whole book and both times were snippy and about Noah. Bechdel Test Fail.

Imogen is also slut-shamed. NOT COOL.

Scarlett's friends only existed in the first 5% of the book, just to facilitate interactions between her and Noah. They completely disappear after their job is done. Oh, except halfway through the book, Noah goes on a family trip for the weekend. And Scarlett has a conversation with Noah about going to Imogen's for the weekend. She mentions feeling guilty for not spending enough time with her, and Noah gets to tell her that isn't true. IT IS TRUE YOU WEIRDO.

The Mystery

WHAT MYSTERY???

I figured out everything within the first chapter. But I swear, I tried to give this book an honest effort. I actually read 170 pages of it, before I decided that I just needed to skim-read the rest. I should have just put it down. It didn't deviate at all from my lackluster expectations.

I Give NO MORE Fucks

I just can't bear to spend another minute or another word on this drivel any longer. I have no idea how this even got published. It's not even worth the paper it's printed on. Poor trees.