The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett » Book Review

I have NOT been having a good reading week. The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett by Chelsea Sedoti continues my streak of 2-star reviews. This book showed up on my radar during my weekly perusal of Netgalley books. The cover made it look like a fun contemporary and the synopsis promised me an interesting mystery.

This book is also featured in Publishers Lunch's Buzz Books 2016: YA Fall/Winter. Ellen and I had a chance to read and review 2o samplers, including The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett (full review HERE). I wasn't impressed back then, and I definitely am not now.

Hawthorne

Hawthorne, named for the tree and not the writer, is an insufferable teenager. That's not part of the blurb but it very well should be. She is is self-centered, whiny, narcissistic (yes, I know this is the same as self-centered but it's so bad that it needs to be mentioned twice), and irritating.

The first two lines sums it up for me.

"The first thing that happened was Lizzie Lovett disappeared, and everyone was all, "How can someone like Lizzie be missing?" and I was like, "Who cares?" A few days later, there was talk about Lizzie maybe being dead, and it was still kinda boring, but not totally boring, because I'd never known a dead person before."

Is anybody else reading this in a valley girl accent? IT CAN'T BE JUST ME GUYS.

As you can see, the writing is incredibly juvenile. Ellen would have had a fit. But being the nice and open-minded reviewer that I am, I put that aside. I tried to settle into the mind of this obnoxious 17 yr-old girl.

Compassion & Kindness

I absolutely despise people who have no compassion for others. In fact when I was 11, I almost punched a girl because she made a comment about how this earthquake in Punjab should have killed people. And the fact that it hadn't meant the earthquake had 'no pride or dignity'. Whatever that means. My two best friends had to drag me away when they saw the thunderous look in my eye.

Looking back I realize that we were children. At the time I had already gone through life experiences that had taught me the value of human life. And I couldn't bear that someone else was taking it so lightly and uttered such despicable words. I'm not in touch with this girl anymore, but I'm sure she's grown into a kind and compassionate person. After all, she didn't know any better at the time.

Hawthorne has no real compassion for anyone else. And I HATE her for it. I didn't expect her to be moping around, but good god, try to have SOME caring thoughts for Lizzie and the people who are suffering due to her disappearance. Hawthorne is so damn DISRESPECTFUL. If I were her best friend (Emma? Emily?), I would have slapped Hawthorne.

Plot

This isn't a plot-driven novel. In fact, there is barely any plot in it. Since the synopsis mentions Hawthorne inserting herself into the investigation, I thought there would be more, you know, REAL investigating. Instead we just have Hawthorne taking on Lizzie's old job at the diner and gallivanting around with Lizzie's boyfriend.

She does have a theory about Lizzie's disappearance though. But it is just the fucking WORST. I don't want to mention it for fear of spoiling people, so thank god for spoiler tags!

[spoiler]Hawthorne thinks that Lizzie turned into a werewolf. Obviously, I read a ton of supernatural fiction so the concept of were-wolves existing doesn't bother me the slightest. But someone is actually missing. Why the hell would you go around telling people that she's a werewolf? Especially to people who are actually concerned and grieving about her? With absolutely no goddamn proof? WTF is up with that?!??![/spoiler]

Hawthorne constantly says, Lizzie can't be missing. She's too perfect. Things like this don't happen to her. Hawthorne says that about everybody around her. Things are perfect for others. Nobody understands me and my struggles. While I can sympathize with some of those feelings especially when live in a world of social media where it is so easy to compare ourselves to the posts and instagram pictures of others, I CAN'T STAND HOW WHINY SHE SOUNDS ABOUT IT. Dear god Hawthorne. You're not the only one going through crap. OPEN YOUR EYES.

Since this is a character-driven story, we do see Hawthorne evolve and learn from her mistakes. So yes, she does eventually learn that she needs to be less self-involved, more compassionate and respectful but I can't forgive her for being such an ass in the first place.

Romance & Friendship

The romantic elements are the only parts of the book that I didn't mind. Besides the whole going out with a guy whose girlfriend just disappeared, it seemed realistic. There were some elements of her relationship with Enzo that I could personally relate to so that did tug at my heartstrings. The confusing nature of relationships and what it means to be physically and/or emotionally intimate was explored well.

I will try my best not to rant about Hawthorne's friendship with Emily, whose name I had to look up. The author depicts Hawthorne as so self-involved, that she BARELY mentions Emily (it's written in the first person perspective). Part of that had to do with the fact that their friendship went through some ups and downs throughout this book. I practically cheered when Emily detailed some of Hawthorne's character flaws. Honestly, Emily deserves a better friend. Like I mentioned before, Hawthorne does go through some personal growth as the novel ends. In fact, there is a scene where Hawthorne (FINALLY) asks Emily about her life instead of blabbing about her own personal theories. BUT WE DIDN'T GET TO READ ANY OF IT. *sigh* It's still all about Hawthorne. I guess people can't change all that much.

Final Thoughts

I gave this book a fair shot and it just wasn't for me. I have personal issues with people who aren't compassionate to others and take advantage of their friends. I've been Emily several times. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.

I gave The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett 2 stars because it was still a quick read and there were a couple of elements that I appreciated. Also I started drinking sangria (pictured HERE) halfway through, so that definitely helped. I will ponder over this rating in the next few days and see if I'd like to lower it.

Happy reading everyone!

 

Poppy & The Movie Version » Mini-Reviews #1

Mini-Review

I almost feel like a TERRIBLE person for just giving this book 2 stars. This is what Ellen would call an 'issue' book. In this case, we tackle how mental illness can affect not just the individual suffering from it, but also the other family members. In The Movie Version, our focus is on Amelia.

Amelia is a typical teen girl with an older brother, Toby, and two younger twin brothers. She and Toby are incredibly close and throughout the book, we get to see instances from the past that really bonded the two together. I am a huge sucker for strong sibling relationships, and I chuckled with nostalgia at their 'Secret Sibling Society'.

Unfortunately, the pacing of the book wasn't for me. Essentially we are experiencing a year in Amelia's life but I couldn't connect to her very much. I liked the portrayal of her family (especially with the twins, making sure they are two separate characters instead of one) and even though I would occasionally get frustrated with Amelia and her friendships, I understood what she was going through. This book also featured the most realistic romantic and sexual relationship in any YA novel I have ever read. I LIKED so many aspects of this novel, but it wasn't a gripping read.

Just a warning, as the title suggests, Amelia is a movie buff. So there are a TON of quotes and movie references thrown about. That did jar me at first because I didn't always get the references, but I managed to keep going without letting it bother me.

It felt too 'meh' for me.

[rating stars="two-stars"]

---

[book-info number="1"]

Mini-Review

I read Poppy a little while ago, and can't seem to remember too much about it (not a good sign). It's marketed as young adult but I think it would be more appropriate for middle-grade readers.

I liked Poppy as a character. She is hard-working and cares deeply for her family. When she gets the opportunity to assist the war effort as a VAD (essentially a volunteer nurse), she jumps at the chance and pours her heart and soul into the work. I really liked the historical elements of the novel. We get to see everyone's initial attitude toward the war and the slow shift that takes place as injured and dead soldiers flood back to England. This is also the beginning of women's independence as they shift from the private sphere to the public sphere in order to aid the war effort and to replace jobs that were previously occupied by men.

The romance in this novel is laughable at best. It is very insta-lovey. I have no idea how it happened. Though as I recall, it all began from a glance. A glance like no other.

IS THIS THE GLANCE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT???

Cause let's be real. I only look at chocolate cake that way. I'm clearly not cut out for human love.

I think this would be a decent historical fiction book for early middle-schoolers. If I knew that from the beginning, I might have been a little more generous with my rating. But because it was marketed to me as a young adult historical fiction novel, I expected a lot more.

---

I'm finally getting caught up with my reviews, guys! *does a little happy dance*

A Promise of Fire » Book Review

Ellen and I were both DYING to get our hands on an ARC copy of A Promise of Fire when we saw the slew of 4-5 star reviews from reputable bloggers. Unfortunately, we didn't feel the same kind of magic that they did. Ellen disliked it (to put it mildly) and she already wrote up a review (HERE) detailing her less-than-stellar opinion of the book.

Fortunately for me, I didn't despise it quite as much as she did. But I definitely agree with all the issues that Ellen brought up in her review.

Catalia

Our main character, Cat (as she likes to be called), is 23 years old. I didn't figure that out until I started writing this review! She talks like a petulant 15 year old. During her inner monologue, she frequently uses words like 'gah' and 'gag'. If I was playing a drinking game, I would be drunk in 3 chapters flat. Okay, okay. I'm a lightweight. BUT STILL.

"Thanks the Gods. Gag!
Sort of.
Except not at all.
Gah! I'm going insane!"

SHOOT ME.

The synopsis calls Cat smart-mouthed.

I wouldn't say that the words coming out of her mouth are... 'smart'. It's mostly a constant stream of 'I hate you', 'get lost' and 'let me go'. Look, I love a witty character. I LIVE for banter and sexual tension. She talks for the sake of saying words and to antagonize others. I should pull out quotes, but gaaahhhhh I don't wanna! (See what I did there?)

One of my bookish pet peeves is when a character claims that she is secretive and guarded and yet can't seem to keep her mouth shut and spills her secrets anyway. This happened NUMEROUS times. For example, even when she clearly makes everyone around her promise to keep her secrets from Griffin's family, SHE IS THE FIRST ONE TO BLAB IT OUT. It took about 10 minutes into dinner for that to happen.

Uh huh. Guarded. Secretive. I see it. Of course the BIG secret needed to be kept because how else can we stretch it into a trilogy?

My other pet peeve is when self-sacrifice is taken to the extreme (*cough* Supernatural *cough*). Cat is supposed to be a strong, badass woman with amazing powers. And sure she makes use of some of them, BUT TO THE POINT OF DEATH. This happened not once, not twice, but a total of THREE times. She gets completely conked out and needs Griffin to take care of her. That seems to be the feminist response to the damsel in distress trope. We can't have the female be completely incompetent... so let's make her snarky and powerful, but still need a man to save her from the aftermath of it to keep the romance alive!

Why a 3 Star Rating?

For all my griping, I did enjoy the read. It was frustrating at times, and cringe-worthy at times, but I kept going and I was always interested to see what was going to happen next. Even though Kato & Flynn (the other members of Griffin's personal team) were practically identical characters, I ADORED the brother/sister relationship they had with Cat.

Even though I found the romance problematic and Griffin a little too high-handed, I was still invested. Until a certain plot detail cropped up. Then I totally lost it. [spoiler]Magical sexual healing??? WTF! Poseidon sent Cat a magical jizz man to heal her?![/spoiler] I managed to get through it though. Thank god for Ellen.

Even though I firmly believe that this book didn't have to be stretched into a trilogy, I am still willing to give the next 2 books a shot. Hopefully it gets better from here.

A Promise of Fire releases today. Happy reading everyone!

The Assassin Game » Book Review

I'm so disappointed! The blurb had me practically salivating right before I requested it on Netgalley. A boarding school? A secret society? A game of assassin? SIGN ME UP. I foolishly thought this would be a darker version of The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart.

I couldn't have been more wrong. And dear friends, I must confess a grave fault of mine. I HATE BEING WRONG. My blood seethes, I plot out the most epic of revenges, I... I should stop now. *waves* I'm normal, I swear!

Begone Tropes!

The Assassin Game features two of my hated tropes, lack of parental presence and the absence of authentic female friendship.

I know the story is set at a boarding school, but that's not an excuse to completely ignore the parents (unless it's more of a reform boarding school, I suppose). Our main character, Cate, goes on and on about how her parents don't care for her. That they got rich and suddenly left their old life behind and had no use for their daughter. It just didn't make much sense to me. There didn't seem to be a reasonable explanation for their absence and lack of interest in her.

I also found myself quite appalled at the lack of strong friendship within the story. Isn't that the pinnacle of an excellent boarding school tale? Cate is supposedly best friends with Daniel and Marcia. She is on the outs with Daniel because she kissed him last year while rebounding off another quasi-relationship. Marcia, on the other hand, is her roommate but is practically absent in their friendship throughout the entirety of the book.

I'm also going to briefly mention the setting. The school is located on a remote island (owned by Cate's family) that can only be accessed by the mainland during low tide. The headmaster of the school has banned recreational use of technology and internet. I believe all this was written to maintain an aura of intrigue and mystery. But it just came across as a little over the top and ridiculous.

The Game

The premise of the story is that an elite secret society is playing a game, The Game. And Cate has finally been invited to join. There is a Killer amongst their midst, who will ingeniously target his/her fellow players via harmless pranks that will 'kill' them until someone manages to unmask him and 'win' the game. Vaughn, Cate's childhood friend (from before her family got rich), joins the game as well. But suddenly, people are starting to get seriously hurt.

This was supposed to be exciting and thrilling. I just found it lackluster and long-winded. Cate didn't play much of a role in this mystery until the very end. For the most part, she was a witness. Or the occasional sidekick. She wasn't the driving force behind the story. Just an unfortunate participant. Which, unfortunately, made reading from her perspective quite dull.

The Good

Fortunately, there were some redeeming aspects to the novel. For one, this kept me guessing till the very end. However, I did hit a certain point when I stopped caring and just wanted everything to be over. Cate also had some redeeming qualities to her that helped keep me interested. Even though she mostly remained a passive character, there was a moment when she stood up to all the people that she was trying to impress in order to do the right thing by a friend. She also displayed moments of startling maturity when it came to handling some traumatic experiences with Daniel. And I enjoyed her relationship with her art teacher, especially because it was a close yet appropriate connection.

Closing Thoughts

I wish I had enjoyed The Assassin Game more. But as I come to the end of this review, I just feel a profound sense of relief. That I can finally move on to something else, and not have to think about this book anymore.

Ciao, my friends! Have a wonderful (and safe) 4th of July!

The Passenger » Review

"Hide-and-seek may just be a game, but it's a game you ought to know how to play."

[redacted][redacted] says these words to one of her third grade students.  It's a typical lesson from Miss [redacted].  She is an odd teacher — obsessed with teaching the kids about road maps.  "Let's say you're in Olympia, Washington, and you want to drive to Boise, Idaho.  How would you get there?" She has them read From the Mixed Up Files of Basil E. Frankweiler for English Studies, because it's the only book she liked as a kid.  She is renown in their small town for diving into a freezing lake to save a drowning child.  But Miss [redacted] has only been in town for a few months... and she'll be off again.  Soon.

Her name is not [redacted][redacted].  Nor is it Tanya Dubois.  At some point in time she's answered to those names and more — but her real one?  Some things are best left forgotten.

When The Passenger begins, we don't know why our protagonist is running, just that she must again, after her husband suffers the accidental death of falling down the stairs.  "Tanya" says goodbye to her lover and hits the road, navigating fake IDs, bank account transfers, and car swapping with practiced disease.  We get the sense that this is a game "Tanya" is familiar with, but has never really warmed to.  She's like a hunted animal, jumping at every twitch of a shadow in a truck-stop diner.

Tanya is knocked out of her uncomfortable, if familiar, orbit, however, by a mysterious woman named Blue, who has smarts and skills on par to rival the law-eluding Tanya. For a while I thought The Passenger was going to become a Thelma and Louise-esque caper.  Or worse, something akin to the maudlin sentimentality of Where the Heart Is.  Then something happened that tore that theory apart.  And then Lisa Lutz ripped my assumption up into a few more pieces.

You have to give the author credit.  I had no idea which way the story would twist and turn.  At its worst, I call this an "aimless plot."  At its best it is a "sketch-oriented novel." Our heroine wandered from place to place, identity to identity, with only slight, slight plot development with each go around.  This was either a very brave or very foolish decision for a thriller.

After a certain point though, a very certain point, I had to keep reading.  I'm so glad I did, because our ending was worth the winding road it took to get there.  Granted, the tying together of all our loose threads was quite abrupt, but the manner in which it was presented to us fit with our heroine's character arc.  I've had enough. I'm through.  Let me tell you everything now.  

Compared with her previous works, The Passenger is a marked departure in tone for Lutz.  There are no big laughs in this book — the mood is more somber.  We've gotten glimpses at this side of Lutz's writing before, especially when Izzy is at her low-point in each Spellman book, but we've never seen such consistent low moods before. It's an interesting move — the sign of an author who likes to switch things up for herself. What Lutz keeps and passes on from her previous work, however,  is her sophisticated writing ability, her gritty real-world detail, and her in-crisis characters.

I recommend The Passenger now, having ended it, with confidence.  At the beginning of the book, midway, even three quarters through, I would have hesitated.  This is very much a book that all comes together at its endgame.  I can only hope readers stick with the ride to its end.  The destination is worth the journey.

Curio » Review

Those who follow my reviews know that I have a weird relationship with steampunk.  I never seem to like books featuring mechanical fantasy, and yet, I keep trying, striving, to find gems in this troublesome genre.  Over and over again, I start a steampunk book and wind up with a DNF — Did Not Finish. I had some high hopes for Curio — pretty cover, ooooh — but I should have known better.  This book might be the one to make me give up on steampunk forever.

Curio has a very complex — okay, complicated — premise.  We have an alternate version of the United States, magician-scientists, potions that allow people to digest food, a town with strict rules enforced by whippings, a cabinet leading to a world of living machines called "porcies"...  It was all too much for me to take in.  My imagination wouldn't stretch that far. My common sense kept interrupting, piping up, but that doesn't make any sense!

Complicating matters was the pace of the book.  Curio starts out with an exciting scene of two teens racing to make it home before curfew.  We don't know what will happen if they fail, just that the consequences will be very bad. After that initial scene, however, the pace staggers at an alarming rate. The prose gets slogged down by tedious description.  We're told about every color that crosses our protagonist's eyes, every thought, every sensation... There needed to be editing to remove all of the unnecessary language — badly.  

All of this may have been tolerable, though, if not for the blandness of our protagonist, Grey.  She was a husk.  Early on in the book, she acts in a way that was clearly supposed to make readers admire her, but I was left cold.  Her actions weren't that impressive. We're told ad nauseam by other characters that Grey is special, but we were not shown that in any interesting or unique way.

Earlier on, I was going to recommend Curio for fans of Incarceron and Sapphique, two popular books in the YA steampunk niche, but now I hesitate to recommend this book in any capacity.  To put it frankly, I was not intrigued, not delighted, not interested.  I was frustrated and bored.