Shadowhunters Recap: Dead Man's Party

 This is a recap of episode three of Shadowhunters — Dead Man's Party.

Scene One

Back at the Institute, Clary is blasting the shadowhunters for their poor behavior towards mundanes, particularly towards Simon. The shadowhunters' whole purpose (ostensibly) is to protect mundanes, Clary says, so it's incredibly hypocritical of the shadowhunters to treat Simon and other normals like garbage, leaving them alone in vans so vampires can kidnap them. Isabelle looks guilty at these words, while Alec is plain unrepentant.

Jace reassures her that the vampires won't hurt Simon.  They just wanted to get Clary's attention, because they believe she has the Cup.

Clary scoffs at the vampire's assumption. She knows nothing about the Cup's location. "What do we do now?" she asks.

Alec hits his one note. "We have to tell the Clave everything."

Clary bites out that telling the shadowhunter authority about her unfortunate paternity won't help her friend be rescued from vampires.

Jace points out that everything leads back to the Cup. Valentine wants the Cup to build a shadowhunter army and to control demons.  The vampires want the Cup so that Valentine doesn't abuse its powers.

"Great!" yells Clary ironically. Both Valentine and the Vampires have a hostage that Clary loves. If she ever does find the Cup, she'll lose someone, regardless. How is she to choose between Simon and her mother?  She'll just throw the Cup in the air like a bouquet at a freaking wedding.

Clary huffs off into the institute, snarling that she's going to come up with a plan. The others have no choice but to follow in her wake.

Scene Two

Meanwhile, Simon is pressed up against an ornate door, bellowing, "Hello? Helloooo?" He's in what looks like a vampire storage room.  Artifacts litter the place, along with wooden crates full of straw.

Simon sputters frantically that he's just a boy studying to be an accountant, he's nobody, and he doesn't give a crap about the shadowhunters, especially the blonde one. Please let him go!

Simon's given up that the vampires can hear him when one shows up. Not the hot girl who had Simon by the ankles, but the pasty one who gave Clary the ultimatum.

Simon gasps that the vampires don't need Simon for anything.

"On the contrary, we do," hisses the vampire, and lunges at Simon, fangs bared.

Scene Three

At the institute tech room, Clary is now tearing into all the dumb screens they have lying around. "What is all of this? Will any of it help me find Simon?"

It turns out, the shadowhunters know exactly where Simon is being held.  At vampire Camille's HQ — Hotel DuMort.

Clary is incensed.  "Why aren't we there now?!"

Alec once again plays his sole note — "We need Clave approval for that." They can't, the four of them, impulsively start a war with the vampires. Besides, unlike Downworlders, shadowhunters are not slaves to their impulses.

Now now, Isabelle chides, reacting to Alec's overt racism. "Not all Downworlder's are bad." Her tone is suggestive.

"Oh that's right. Seelies have their charms, apparently," mocks Alec. He's referring to a Downworlder boy toy of Isabelle's. "Everybody's got their thing," says Alec.

But Isabelle turns his words back on him. "Yes," she purrs, "we do all have our thing."

Alec looks a little uncomfortable.  To what could Isabelle be referring?

Clary's had enough chitchat. She needs to get Simon back yesterday. She takes off for the exit, but Jace warns her that she'll get herself killed.  She keeps walking.  She'll get SIMON killed. Clary stops, with great reluctance.

Stomping back to her comrades, Clary asks if the shadowhunters understand the need to rescue a friend who is suffering. Or is that emotion too mundane?

Jace breaks under that verbal slam and persuades the others to act without Clave approval.  Alec balks, but he's not one to be left behind or tattle, it seems.  They make plans to sneak out of the Institute and get weapons on the sly.

Scene Four

The vampire, Raphael, has not eaten Simon.  Instead, he's pushing Simon into a richly furnished room at the Hotel DuMort. There are statues and antique knick-knacks everywhere.  Simon bumps into everything, flailing around like a nervous wreck.

He tries to distract Raphael by asking about the historical pieces around the room, while sneaking an ancient looking blade off its pedestal. Simon flings the knife at Raphael like a ninja, and it sticks in Raphael's shoulder. Raphael just shakes his head sadly and peels the blade out.  He is remorseful over the hole in his new sport coat.

Just then, Simon's host, Camille, strolls in.  She is an extremely waspy-waisted woman, made-up extremely fine and in a beaded cocktail dress. Simon looks intimated, as does Raphael.  Hell, I'm intimidated.

Camille tells Simon that she looks forward to getting to know him and swipes some blood from his forehead with one long, painted talon.  She pops the finger in her mouth. Yummy.

Scene Five

The shadowhunters get out of Simon's band-wagon.  They've driven to a cemetery by a church. Jace explains that shadowhunters of old have left caches of weapons around the city and there ought to be a stash under a one Mary Milligan's final resting place.

They explain to Clary that most religions used to support shadowhunters... until the mundanes forgot about the evil around them and stopped being grateful.

Alec seems plenty perturbed by this, grumbling that "mundane lack of imagination" is behind their forgetting about the true existence of demons. I guess he has two notes: 1. Call the Clave and 2. Call the mundanes bad names.

Isabelle seems to have had enough of his bad attitude. "You just can't let up, can you?"

Jace cuts off their argument where it stands, telling Alec to "go be cool by that angel."

Alec, bless him, goes to stand by the angel, like he's in time-out.

Jace and Clary share a quiet moment, where Clary confesses that she feels that everything is her fault. Jace looks he wants to comfort her... with his mouth.

Isabelle's phone chimes. That seelie boy-toy they were talking about earlier is home. She's going to go visit him and get intel about Hotel DuMort. She sha-shays off, her heels somehow not sinking into the soil of the cemetery. Witchcraft!

Meanwhile, Alec has scouted something by the angel statue. "JACE," he calls.

Clary and Jace share a quick moment of parting whispers before Jace sweeps of to Alec.

Alec confronts Jace over the fact that this cemetery borders vampire territory. Jace knows all about that! That's the point, Alec!

Alec takes off his gloves.  Metaphorically. He says: "This isn't about [Simon]. This is about Clary. What, you're so desperate to get laid that you'll risk us all over it?"

Jace is going to let those loaded words slide, but lets Alec know that there were so many things wrong with them. He's going to pretend he didn't hear it, but Alec says THAT is the point. Jace isn't listening to Alec anymore. Not when Alec is expressing his doubts over this whole situation.

Jace tells Alec, with passion, that Alec doesn't have to trust Clary, but he has to trust in Jace. Just then, Clary finds the grave of Mary Milligan, interrupting the tense conversation.

Inside the tomb are some seraph blades, ripe for the plucking. Clary picks one up with glee and Alec flips out.  Things are tense until Jace barks, "Alec. Do you have what you need?"

"No." Alec says petulantly. "There no bow here." It's my favorite line delivery of his so far.  He just sounds so blue about it. Alec is going to go back to the Institute and get a bow and some arrows, dammit. No one will stop him if he's alone.

He's about to take off, but turns back, and sort of laterally apologizes to Jace for the "getting laid" comment.  He calls Jace his parabatai, and they clasp hands, manfully. Then he leaves. That whole exchange was hot, and I won't apologize for thinking so.

Jace then returns his attention to Clary, who's gripping her seraph blade, looking eager, but confused. We are then treated to some dialogue that is overtly about Clary and her new blade, but is covertly about Jace and Clary's sexual feelings for each other.  There is some mood music to really pound the suggestion home.

After the mood breaks some, Clary brings up Alec.  Jace explains that Alec can seem moody as all hell, but he's very important to Jace.  Not only is he like a brother, but they are parabatai. In battle their hearts beat as one; for one of them to die would spell a smaller, mental death in the other. "He'll be here, Clary," Jace promises. Alec won't let them down when it counts.

Now is she ready?

She is.

Scene Six

Back at Hotel DuMort, Simon is freaking out to Camille and Raphael about how he threw that blade at Raphael all ninja-like.  I'm glad they're addressing that, because it was really out of character. But Simon is back in character now, bumbling and jibbering like a moron.

Camille can't take it anymore. She snaps her clawed fingers and Simon freezes. Raphael lets out a relieved breath like someone has just scratched a horrible itch on his person.

He tells Camille that he doesn't think her decision to break the Accords was the best idea.

Camille is cool with that.  But she believes she acted for the best.  Taking Simon will get her the Cup and then she'll have the POWER she doesn't want Valentine to have. Greedy girl.

Speaking of greed, she also seems ready to take a bite of Simon. Raphael cringes at her taste, but she reminds him of chocolates. Remember those, Raphael? The plainest candy shells can have the tastiest center.

She snaps and Simon re-animates, still blathering.  Raphael scoffs in disgust and walks away.

"Don't worry my little caramel," purrs Camille, stoking Simon face. "Everything will be just fine.

Scene Seven

In a park in the city, Meliorn, Isabelle's elfin boy toy, has a gauzy yurt set up. It is romantically lit, or maybe it's just the soundtrack, full of exotic strings that are setting the mood. Isabelle, clad in a tight red dress, drops by.  Meliorn and her start sucking face immediately and Isabelle unzips the front of her dress.

She doesn't seem to be hiding much, so Meliorn decides to ask a few pressing questions. Are the shadowhunters searching for Valentine's daughter? Does the girl truly have the Mortal Cup?

"Meliorn, are you trying to interrogate me?"

"Yes."

Seelies can't lie, we find out through their breathy kisses.  It seems like Isabelle's going to come out on top in the two-sided interrogation. And wouldn't you know it, that's not the only way Isabelle is on top.  I guess the questions about Hotel DuMort are going to be delayed a while.

Scene Eight

Back at the Institue, Alec opens the weapons locker and removes a bow and some arrows, looking shady.

Scene Nine

Outside a biker bar, Clary and Jace approach.  Clary is confused about why they're there.  Does Jace want a bracing drink before battle?

No, there's a reason Jace has brought Clary there. He urge her to see past the glamours on the place. "Look with your whole self," he tells Clary.

Clary does so and is shocked. The place is full of vampires!

We have a commercial break, and afterwards, a biker-y looking dude strolls in. He's handsome, but in a really terrifying way.  Jace tells Clary to go up to him and compliment his bike. Dudes like it when chicks compliment their bikes.

Clary doesn't ask why, like I would, she just takes on the challenge. She strolls up to the guy and says in a breathy voice: "Hey. I've been wondering who owns this... bike." She forgot to throw in "stud," but I give her an A.

The biker looks pleased, but decides to cast some sort of spell on Clary! He's a vampire! And he knows she's a shadowhunter.  The "rune crap" all over her smells, apparently. He starts to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, necking without actually necking, and a magicked Clary eats it up.

Across the room, Jace's face is spasming, but he doesn't step in.

Scene Ten

Back at Hotel DuMort, Camille and Simon are totally making out.  But it's not really along with Simon's wishes, since he's been vampire magicked. In between kisses, Camille tries to get the location of the Mortal Cup out of Simon, but Simon insists that Clary has no idea where the Cup is.  They went to the City of Bones to retrieve Clary's memories, which have been erased by some sort of spell.

Camille is sharp and puts it together. "Damn Magnus Bane," she snarls.

Her ardor cooled, she gets up to pour herself a Bloody Mary, an "original recipe."

Scene Eleven

At the elven Yurt of Love, Isabelle and Meliorn have finished up.  Isabelle begins her questions, starting with Meliorn's recent trip to Idris and the Clave. Meliorn is on some sort of council, but doesn't get any kind of vote, being a downworlder. Meliorn gets frustrated, saying that he IS part angel, just like the shadowhunters.

"But the other half is demon," points out Isabelle. But she doesn't mind.  She likes the spice. She's an ally! Doesn't Meliorn trust her?

"No."

That's right. Elves can't lie. Isabelle isn't insulted by his lack of trust, she just throws back her head and laughs and laughs. But she trusts Meliorn. Trusts him to have no other lover but her.

Meliorn looks freaked out, but Isabelle is kidding.  They have an open relationship. And Isabelle is well aware that Meliorn has been seeing the vampire Camille. Speaking of which... how does Meliorn sneak into the Hotel DuMort to see his lover?

Meliorn doesn't look too put out by Isabelle's ambush.  He actually looks a touch turned on...

Scene Twelve

Alec is running his stele over his arrows, doing something to them, when Hodge shows up. Alec stumbles and fumbles, acting more like Simon than he knows, but Hodge is like, whatever, I won't report you. Chill.

Alec wants to explain anyway. It's about Clary...

"Valentine's daughter?" sneers Hodge, but he said a bad word and his punishment rune burns him.  "The monster's daughter," he corrects. He's about to walk away, but turns back to Alec. Hodge tells Alec that he is reminded of himself in the younger man.  A talented shadowhunter overshadowed by a Chosen One.  Hodge warns Alec not to make the same mistakes that Hodge made.

"Look where it got me."

Scene Thirteen

At the biker bar, the biker is crooning to Clary, "you want to jump on this bike, baby?" Ew.

But glamoured Clary does want to jump on the gross dude's bike and take a ride. They're about to head off when Jace makes his move.

He uses the power of his runes to sock Biker Dude in the face and snatch his keys.  Then he hops on the bike with Clary and takes off, pursued by angry vamps. The bike can go supernaturally fast, because it runs on demon energy, and Clary and Jace shoot off.

The magic spell has worn off Clary. She's enjoying her ride, but questions Jace about him letting her almost get turned into a vampire for this stunt.

How else was he supposed to get the keys? "Don't you trust me?" he yells over the noise of the roaring engine and wind.

She does, but how are they going to outrun their vampire tails?

"This bike's been modified." Jace smiles madly.

The bike takes flight.

Scene Fourteen

At the Hotel DuMort, Camille and Simon are going for it. Their Bloody Mary's lie abandoned and they're feasting on each other's blood.  This is ABC Family, Freeform, whatever, though, and it's pretty PG/PG-13. We can barely tell that Simon broke the skin on Camille's neck and there aren't any gushing wounds on his person, either.  There's just little smears of blood everywhere.

True Blood it's not, but it's still a little kinky.

Scene Fifteen

In the city, Isabelle is waiting for her brother, looking smug, like she's eaten a whole 12-pack of canaries. She's proud of her intelligence gathering efforts, and when Alec shows up and maligns them, she's none too pleased. Alec brushes her off with a "you have fairy dust on your dress."

BAHAHA. She totally does! That's hilarious.

Isabelle tells Alec that he'd bee a lot happier if he weren't so frickin' repressed, but he's busy looking for the tunnel that leads to Hotel DuMort and rolling his eyes on the sly.

Scene Sixteen

Who's NOT repressed? Camille and Simon, who are still going at it. But suddenly Camille sniffs like a hound, or a shark in the water, and scents angel blood in the air.  She looks ready for war!

After the commercial break, some of her goons have appeared. She tells them to search for the shadowhunters in the stairwell.

Simon, meanwhile, is slap-happy.  She tells her new darling not to worry, she just had a bit too much to drink. Camille clicks over to an old-fashioned rotary phone and bites out, to whoever's on the other line, "STOP THEM."

Scene Seventeen

On the roof, Jace is marking up Clary with runes.  He gives her one to break the spell "Mr. Fascinating" back at the bar put on her, which he calls an encanto. "Like what a cobra does to a mouse before it strikes."

Clary is mildly embarrassed at how she behaved with the vampire, but Jace looks charmed by the memories of her sexy girl act.

He also gives Clary a rune for silence. Not to shut her up, but for stealth.

A brief note on the runes in this show.  They look nasty, either bloody or bruise-y.  Not sexy, by any stretch of the imagination. Clary looks like Jace took a hot carving knife to her lovely skin.

Anyway, they walk towards Hotel DuMort, and Jace wonders at human's fascination with vampire mythology when vamps are so cruel to mundanes. "They know how to frame a narrative," he says of the vampires.

Clary brings the conversation back to her favorite subject. "How will we find Simon?"

Jace assures her that they'll find him in the most secure room, no doubt.

What about encanto? If Simon is magicked, will he turn vamp?

No, says Jace. You have to drink vampire blood for that and other stuff. Um, pretty sure Simon drank from Camille AND did stuff with her. I think he might be in danger.

Clary wants to know more about what Simon has to be going through. What if a vampire bit him?

Jace tells her that Simon wouldn't be suffering. He'd be high, feeling like he's in love.

That's AWFUL, says Clary.

Jace makes a surprised face. "Awful? .............. I guess I wouldn't know."

Clary jumps on this factoid. "You've bever been in love." She breathes the words.

Jace gets a funny look on his face and starts asking after Clary and her relationship with Simon. "He seems... unworthy of you."

Clary explains that her relationship with Simon is just like Jace's with Alec. Simon is like Clary's parabatai. Jace seems to understand a little more, at those words.

They prepare to enter the hotel. Jace reminds Clary of how to wield her seraph blade.  Isabelle and Alec are ready, prepared to make a distraction.

Scene Eighteen

Sneaking through the bowels of a building, Isabelle is hounding her brother about his secret feelings.  She wants him to own up to how he feels, but Alec tells her that now is not the time or the place.

Isabelle thinks that things are going smoothly actually, until they open a door and find a horde of vampires sprinting for them.

They slam the door and Alec tries to seal it with a rune, but it won't work. Isabelle chops off some nearby pipe with her seraph blade, and creates a makeshift lock on the door with it.

"Whoever said 'the pen was mightier than the sword' is an idiot," she triumphs.

Scene Nineteen

Jace and Clary are sneaking through the basement of the building and see the vampires running towards where Isabelle and Alec are making a stand. They sneak past.

Back with the siblings, the vampires have figured out Isabelle's lock and busted the door open.  Isabelle unfurls her whip and goes to town while Alec shoots vampires almost lazily, like he's at target practice.  Despite the fact that Alec had said they'd be "liquid lunch" in five minutes, they seem to be doing quite well. "This is fun," he concedes.

"Keep coming boys," commands Isabelle.

Scene Twenty

Clary and Jace sneak into an interior room of the hotel. Simon and Camille aren't there, but some other vampires show up, including the guy from the biker bar. He is enraged, at Jace for taking the bike, and Clary for being a deceitful female.  He's had to run 30 blocks to make it home before sunrise!

The other vampires are owning Jace, firmly occupying him, against the floor, while the biker starts throwing Clary around.  She thinks she's got him when she kicks him in the balls, but he's up from that assault, fast. She and Jace are in bad trouble... when the dream team, Alec and Isabelle show up.  Alec has his bow drawn, like a boss. I'm really starting to like him, this episode.

The biker has Clary in the classic hostage position, and I think Alec is going to risk a shot that might hit Clary, but he says, "Okay," all cool-like, and shoots a hole through the hotel wall. Sunlight floods in and burns the biker.

Clary gets her seraph blade and kills a vampire. Jace dispatches his.  They look at each other, turned on by the other's prowess.

Clary seems a little freaked out with what she's just done.  Jace tells her she should be proud.  Clary looks somewhat appeased.

"It's not about me. Let's go find Simon," she says.

The party hurries off.

Scene Twenty-One

Camille is pacing.  The sounds of the battle can be heard in their interior room.  Simon, drunky, asks if there's a party going on. Camille barely bothers to throw together a lie to comfort him.  She gets on the rotary phone again. "FIX IT," she barks.  What, is there some person just always on the line, waiting for her orders? She doesn't even dial any numbers before she speaks into the mouthpiece.  It would be hilarious if she were insane and talking on the rotary phone to an imaginary toady was her "thing." All of her minions would roll their eyes behind her back. That nut, Camille, they'd mutter. Talking to the rotary phone again...

Anyway, Simon seems to put together that Clary is there for him, because he makes a break for it, screaming, "CLARY! CLARY!"

Raphael appears and holds a knife to his throat, however.  Camille and he fight briefly over who gets to kill Simon.  It seems that Camille has lost interest in her chew toy.

Raphael wins, though.  He tells Camille to exit, to go to safety, and she does so, looking after her own lovely skin.

We cut to the shadowhunters, who are slo-mo a-comin' for Raphael.  He know's it, too.

"They're coming," he breathes, still holding the knife to Simon's jugular.

And they do.

They come into the room, weapons drawn. But Raphael does a better job at holding Simon hostage than the biker did with Clary.  He tells the shadowhunters to put away their weapons or he'll kill Simon.  The shadowhunters do so, as Raphael has a good grip on Mr. Lewis.

Then, Raphael does an inexplicable thing.  He takes Simon to an exit, having the shadowhunters follow him.  Then he releases Simon to them and tells him to flee.

Whoa!

"I don't know how I can thank you!" Simon chokes, with disbelief.

Raphael, cringing away from the sunlight shooting through the exit door, says that all of this was supposed to be to stop Valentine from gaining power. Clearly, Raphael understands that things have gotten out of hand, and meandered away from the original purpose.  He's a smart one, that Raphael. Before Jace leaves, Raphael tells him that Jace should remember who his friends are.  Smart, smart, smart Raphael.

Scene Twenty-Two

Up on the roof, outside the exit, bright sunshine blasts around the shadowhunters and Simon. Isabelle's nighttime make-up looks garish. The rest of the shadowhunters look decidedly less mysterious and capable in the light of day.  They look like tired teenagers.

Simon freaks, not sure of their safety yet, but Jace snaps that the vampires will fry out in the sun.  Don't dorks like Simon watch movies?

Alec, Isabelle, and Jace start to take off, but Clary and Simon begin their tearful reunion.  Clary assures Simon that she couldn't live without him, to his amazed delight. He thinks the moment he's been waiting for is coming, but...

"You're my best friend!" says Clary and kisses him on the cheek.  It's a horrible, brutal push into the Friend Zone and I hurt for Simon.

He seems to have gotten the message loud and utterly crystal clear because he kisses Clary back on the cheek with a look that stones would envy.

"Well, no accounting for taste," says Isabelle, using her phone as a mirror to reapply her matte lip creme. (I love the stuff, too, Isabelle. My favorite brand is NYX, for lack of funds. But paired with Obsessive Compulsive Lip Liner, it's good stuff.)

Anyway, I'm not sure if she's disparaging Simon or Clary here, but Alec tells her that she's REALLY one to talk.  She rolls her eyes and walks off.

Alec turns to Jace. He starts once again about how Jace just met Clary and trust and Valentine's daughter, but Jace freaking SNAPS.

He bellows, "ALEC, STOP!" And everyone stops to look. Isabelle turns back. Clary and Simon break apart from their (friendly) prolonged hug.

Jace looks a little mortified as his break in emotional command, but says, "if you really feel that way about her then why did you come tonight?"

Alec just looks at Jace.

...

...

...

Oh.

And Jace gets it, too, because as Alec walks resignedly away, Jace bares his teeth with pain.

But Alec has gone off, so Jace turns back to Clary and they hold each other's gaze. Jace looks conflicted, but Clary stares at Jace like he stepped out of her dreams.

And Simon.

Simon is staring at Clary's pulse strumming in her neck.

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

Thump.

The End

It was a good episode, friends! I'm liking the show more and more. I really thought Alec shone as a character this episode.  Emeraude Toubia continues to amaze with her talent at walking in unreasonable heels.  I give this episode a 3.5 out of five.